Benjamin Disraeli once commented that there are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies and statistics. Unfortunately, because of years of systematic manipulation and dishonesty, the credibility of statistics coming from advocacy groups is largely unreliable. The real numbers are always bad enough, but the tendency to over-exaggerate does no one -- except the advocate group -- any benefit. Even a passing acquaintance with the statistical process will often reveal how these numbers can be, and often are, spun -- especially since most of the sources are anonymous. Rape and women's crisis centers will not let the files that the statistics are supposedly drawn from be reviewed. Now while this makes sense for the women's safety and privacy, it makes for questionable statistics.
Unfortunately, these distortions of the truth and on occasion outright lies (2) serve to further enrage the already outraged personality type that is so often drawn to these organizations. What is less obvious, however, is the damage to the group's credibility with the very people they claim to represent and claim to be advocates for. Putting it bluntly, most women have a very hard time accepting such radical statements as "All men are potential rapists" of the men in their lives that they love or deal with on a regular basis. What started out as a well meaning warning to acquaint women with the potential danger of rape was turned into a stance of extreme paranoia and anger. One that most women are not interested in accepting.
In our time we have been told by radical women's self defense instructors - not once, but on several occasions - that a woman should have the right to walk naked into a biker bar and not be molested.

When faced with such a blatant lack of common sense, the average person tends to blink, mutter something about "well in a perfect world..." and rapidly change the subject. What is equally confusing to the normal person, however, is the moral outrage and incredible anger of those who advocate such extreme ideals. Such advocates are honestly and self-righteously furious that the biker bar fantasy doesn't exist in the real world. These people see nothing unrealistic about their expectations of how the world should behave towards them. Unfortunately, this is just one of many extreme ideological dogmas that serve to fuel their anger at men, relationships, the legal system and society in general. In fact, one can postulate that these unrealistic expectations -- and the world failing to meet them -- are a constant source for much of their anger.
These unrealistic expectations aren't about making the world a better place. They are about the individual reinforcing a dissatisfied personality (3) and a nihilistic world view. Let's use the "walking naked in a biker bar" idea as an example to explain this important concept.

1). This kind of thinking demands the rest of world conform to their expectations. They are insisting that bikers - a very distinct subculture with its own standards, behaviors and codes - suddenly cease to operate along their cultural lines and "respect" the individual enough to allow her to engage in this behavior. The basic idea is that it is society that has to do all the work and change its beliefs, not them.

2) They negate the freedom and individuality of others while insisting on their own. This can be summed up by simply saying: While they have the right to walk naked through a biker bar, a biker doesn't have the right to say anything about it.

3) It is about what they want, not what other people want, feel or need. There is no attempt or desire to compromise, negotiate or work out a equitable settlement where other people's ways of thinking, behavior or needs are factored in. There is no acceptance of other cultural standards or belief systems. Anyone who does not behave in the manner they desire is in the wrong.

The long and short of it is these "expectations" are extremely selfish and narrow in focus. In light of this, it is no wonder that the world refuses to conform There is an old Latin saying "Even a fly has it's spleen (anger)"

Basing one's life on anger is not exactly a winning strategy. It is in fact a very self-limiting behavior. While it may be all-consuming to the individual's awareness, simply stated, the rest of the world doesn't much care. Survival in this modern world requires the ability to negotiate and compromise with others so everyone can get what they need. It is a form of economy where everyone can get what they need, if not what they want.

Anger, tends to ignore this reality and lock the person inside his or her head. This isolates the individual and hampers that person's ability to effectively negotiate and compromise with others. Empathy requires you to step outside of your "box" and see issues from the other person's point of view and empathy is a critical component of effective people skills.

Furthermore, people tend to shy away from angry individuals. This creates a form of social isolation where you will be surrounded by like-minded people. This goes beyond "like attracts like" and moves into "the only people who will tolerate that behavior are the same kind." In other words you will find yourself surrounded by angry, selfish and violent people.

In fact, one can easily liken them to an intellectual version of a temper tantrum that a small child throws

Such radical - and unrealistic - ideas are, unfortunately, often a cornerstone in both the ideology and curriculum of many current women's self-defense programs. They seem to train for the day when they will attempt the biker bar trick. And, if they were to try this foolhardy action and were to receive a negative response -- protected by a shield of self-righteous anger -- they believe could successfully fight their way out. It should come as no surprise that often these programs encourage rage and anger as the source of their student's self-defense. (And then they wonder why most people aren't interested in attending such programs and the ones that they attract have unrealistic expectations.
Simply stated, many of these programs are borderline cults. encouraging rage and physical aggression as the source for "self-defense" is an extremely dangerous concept. Such behavior is more likely to provoke an attack.

There has been a lot of post made here on blogstream about the things that go no here,this has caused a considerable amount of arguing,and accusations to be floating around, but where people interact with other people these things happen, it happens in our daily functions..

But there is a dark side to blogstream that you could have wittnessed if you read my other blog, just yesterday i read a post by a fellow blogger describing this as the underbelly of blogstream..
and yes there is an underbelly, and you see it here everyday.
but some people can't seem to get it through their heads that this is a place in cyberworld that was made for all of us to post our thoughts and imaginations, some real some not so real.

They say this or that person is genuine,or sincere in what they write here, all i can say is that though some are endowed with articulacy of their written word, that doesn,t mean that they are commited to what they write, only to sell their production to someone like any other writer.
Ron L.Hubbard, Stephen King, or Dean Koonz do you think that they lived in the stories they wrote? i would hope not..

But because i had the audacity to call a spade a spade i was attacked by 3 other bloggers,2 of which maintained no blogs at all, but would enable a fraud to continue selling their material so that they could be praised for their great writting ability.
And July 24th they made a mistake that would expose the person that had actually began this journey into darkness.

And in the end they will live with their own self righteousness refusing to hear any truth that isn't their truth, professing that their justice is the only justice, and they will rip their own hearts out, because they always have someone else to blame for their failures in life, and in them they will find no peace because they have subjected themselves to a hell that was their own creation..

And when they choose to hide and exile themselves because they are afraid that someone may hand them a mirrow and say look, they can,t because then they might be shown that somewhere along the way they were partially to blame for their own indignation.

But at least i wasn't alone, seems that a lot of other people here were manipulated into thinking that the outward appearance meant that intentions within were meant to inform, well think again my friends, only deceivers quit when they feel threatened by the truth, and you can be your own judge because that person has already found you guilty of gullibility.

Here in this story there is a tragedy, that someone could perpetrate such an image that readers could actually be convinced that anyone could use stolen comments from another blog, and call that their truth, and perjure themselves to be freed from the truth that they can't face, the only thing i can say is i hope they sleep well, because i know that i did tell the truth and in their hearts they know their lies will consume them, so write well, be articulate,sell your story, because you will choke on your words, and noboby will cry for you,even then your eyes won't be opened, because you are the blind attempting to lead the blind!

I decided several months ago to close my other blog for reasons that were personal, however i changed my mind when other bloggers claiming to be uninterested parties came there in an effort to lend credibility to someone who had created an image built on deception.

If i had ever intended to cause damage to this persons dignity or image, i could not have ask for a better group to assist me in my effort. as a matter of fact i didn't realize there was an entire community of deceivers that she was associated with.
Although i consider most of the people here on blogstream to be for the mostpart, honest and and open, there are a few who have created a facade that only applies here.
Now if you go to other forums you see the same people playing the same games there,looking for praise and glory, but when the smoke clears you'll find the same deception.

If any one of the bloggers that came to my other blog would have stated in honesty they were acting personally on her behalf instead of attempting to play their mind games, there would have been a totally different reaction from me, well if thats their description of courage, they can have it, because it will only be found on their keyboard because in reality, in them it dosen't exist.

And that is the reason that i closed my other blog, for they can wallow in their own indignation as self appointed judges of others intentions, and proclaim whatever truth that fit themselves today, because tomorrow it may change....

I just closed my blog "afterlife" and i'm glad that turkey is dead.
When i think of all the bitterness and anger that it caused, i guess i should have closed it long ago, better yet never started it.....
but things happen for a reason i suppose, and there is nothing i can do about that now, so i'll just have to live with whatever come and make the best of it..
Tuesday i have to go and do a deposition in regards to some of the issues that were discussed there and hope that everything works out.
all this crap has been gnawing at me for sometime now and i will be glad when it is all put to rest.
anyway i will be posting here from now on, but at the present i don't feel like doing much of anything with this blog, just visiting a few friends, and resting....lotsa love.....Harold

I just posted my last comment to afterlife and in a few days i will shut it down, leaving it open in case anyone wants to comment....
so now i'm going to start over here...i be visiting with friends from time to time, but don,t expect to do a lot of posting because i gonna be busy for awhile....I would like to thank Mizmace for all the time she took to come to my other blog, and she has turned out to be a loyal friend and i will be commenting to her blog often......
lotsa love .....Harold